Counseling BlogFacebook CounselingCounseling TwitterCounseling PinterestGoogle Plus Counselor

What does a woman consider as cheating?

What does a man consider as cheating?

Women Cheating

For both men and women the subtle signs are the same:

1. Your loved one is becoming more secretive and distracted from the family.

2. You loved one has changed work habits, maybe working longer or working shorter hours.

3. Suddenly there is a great need for privacy, your partner is taking phone calls in private or deleting text messages. Maybe your loved one is taking the phone to bed and has put a new password on the phone.

4. Your partner is losing weight, working out more, or is suddenly more interested in his or her appearance.

5. A change in spending habits has occurred.

6. Your sexual relationship has also changed, you are having more sex or maybe you aren’t sexual at all any longer.

7. Your partner is acting strangely. This could be that your loved one is just less interested in you and your life, or is overly interested in the children as a means to reduce the amount of time you spend together.

It is important to trust these feelings.  People in intimate relationships are attuned to one another and can feel the disconnection caused by being either emotionally or physically involved with another. Unfortunately the research is pretty clear, 40% of women cheat and 60% of men do. Although chances are that most people will be touched by infidelity in their lives, it doesn’t mean the end of the marriage or relationship. Most people say they wouldn’t stay in the relationship with a cheater; the reality is that 80% of men stay with women who have cheated and 90% of women stay.

 

The list of behaviors that are considered cheating, infidelity, adultery or emotional affairs range from the obvious to the subtle:

Cheating Man1. Engaging in any sexual contact with non-partner (including: hugging, kissing, caressing, oral sex, and phone sex).

2. Flirting or engaging in sexual innuendo either in person or via text, online chatting or talking on the phone.

3. Sharing personal information with non-partner, she has hopes and dreams for the future.  Even a discussion about values could led to an emotional connection.

4. Daydreaming or fantasizing about a non-partner.

5. Anticipating seeing, talking, texting, or emailing a person who is not your partner.

6. Looking at pornography or engaging in cyber-sex.

Why do people cheat and have affairs.

  1. They are not getting their emotional/attentional needs met from their partner.
  2. They have poor sexual and relationship boundaries. They seek sexual attention from others and feels like a boost to self esteem.
  3. They don’t feel special to their partner.  Seeking attention is a very common reason people have affairs.  Often an involved partner isn’t seeking an affair but after receiving emotional attention the contrast that is lacking in the current partner is huge.
  4. There may be a sexual addiction or some other problem.

If you have been touched by infidelity it does not mean that your marriage or the relationship is over, in fact it may be a new beginning for the relationship. Couples Counseling can help you identify what was missing in the relationship that lead to the cheating.