The Impact of Pornography & CyberSex on Marriage and Relationships
How does this impact marriage & relationships? In most cases, it is hazardous to the marriage. Below is a list of the potential harm porn can cause the relationship as well as to the the individual viewing it.
- Porn is highly addictive. Due to the nature of pornography it impacts the brain by increasing the feel good hormone of dopamine This can be addictive, just like any other drug. The result is that a person can develop tolerance and require more content to get the same effect. Sometimes this is caused habituation. A porn addicted person can have cravings and have severe difficulty stopping and become irritable when deprived of porn. I have seen people who have had severe consequences, such as work problems because of their inability to stop.
- Neglect other important life tasks. Personal health can be impacted by lack of sleep because it is viewed alone, late at night or early in the morning. Family life is impacted because of the time involved, people often neglect the spouse, children and household responsibilities. The money spent on porn can impact the family finances.
- Sexual problems. The biggest impact of porn is the impact on relational sexuality. Relationships that have a partner who uses porn report a less sex between the partners, problems with arousal, intrusive thoughts of the porn, lack of emotional intimacy, and more irritability between the partners. The porn addicted partner usually reports less sexual satisfaction and may desire more risk and demanding sexual experiences rather than emotionally connected sex.
- Isolation. Pornography causes the couple to disconnect and become isolated from one another. I have known people who withdrew from social and family activities to stay home and view pornography. The porn addict usually lies about what is being done, which forces them into a secret life of deceit and shame. Eventually causing anger, depression, mood swings, defensiveness, and anxiety.
- Relational problems. The sexual relationship is disrupted, the partner may or may not know about the porn. Partners often view porn use as “cheating” or a form of infidelity. The porn user is taking sexual needs and desires out of the relationship. The betrayed partner may have worries of not being good enough or feeling sexually inadequate. Porn can be degrading to women. Women are dominated in porn in a dehumanizing way. There is often violence inflicted on them. Viewing these images repeatedly most certainly can impact a person’s view of a healthy, emotionally connected relationship.
- Self-concept. The porn addict eventually develops low self esteem due to the disconnection and disharmony of close relationships.
Pornography has harmful effects for both the individual viewing it and for the partner. It is important to get help. SAA is a good place to start for the addicted partner and COSA for the other partner. Couples counseling is also necessary to restore the emotional connection.
